Sorta Sleeping Beauty
by Sehanine
Summary: This year, the Muggle Studies practical exam is to perform a pantomime. Unfortunately, some of the students aren't exactly taking it seriously.


For as long as anyone could remember, the OWL exams at Hogwarts had consisted of a theory test and a practical exam. For most subjects this was simple, but Muggle Studies had begun to cause issues. Muggle technology did not work in such a magical environment, and taking the students into the Muggle world inevitably caused a breach in the statute of secrecy as some thoughtless child would always mention or do something they should not. Therefore, the board of governors had decided that some sort of practical examination needed to be devised which could be conducted entirely within the boundaries of Hogwarts.

"It's preposterous!" Professor Johnson complained, purposefully ignoring his colleagues' groans and rolling eyes as he broached the topic for the ninth time in as many days. "I can't set an exam for Muggle studies without access to something from the Muggle world!"

"Have you considered using something that isn't electrical, Andrew?" Minerva McGonagall, as a half-blood, was uniquely suited among the professors to understand the frustrated man's plight, but she had begun to lose patience.

"What would you suggest, Minerva?" Johnson asked. "Pens? Brooms that are actually used for sweeping the floor? _Demonstrating the etiquette of waiting at a bus stop?_ You and I both know that the only thing even remotely difficult for wizards to understand about the Muggle world is technology."

"How about some kind of presentation?" Professor Flitwick suggested excitedly. "Perhaps they could construct a model, or write a song?"

Professor Johnson opened his mouth to retort, and then promptly snapped it closed again, a rare smile spreading across his face.

"Filius, you have just given me an excellent idea!"

* * *

"What in Merlin's name is a pantomime?" Sirius questioned as he and James stared at the words on the blackboard in confusion.

"Something to do with mimes and their pants, I guess." James replied.

"What, those funny blokes who pretend they're trapped in boxes?"

Lily turned and scowled at them across the classroom.

"Honestly, you've both been in this class for three years, haven't you paid the slightest bit of attention? A pantomime is a play, usually done at Christmas."

"What? What for?" James asked her.

"Well, for fun!" Lily replied. "There's silly jokes, and singing and dancing, and the audience gets to join in; it's all a bit childish really, but Mum and Dad take me and Tuney every Christmas and it's ever so much fun."

At the word childish, James and Sirius' faces had lit up, as had those of their best friends, Remus and Peter, sitting in the row behind them.

"Quite right, Miss Evans, five points to Gryffindor for explaining to your classmates." Professor Johnson glanced around the small class curiously. "Now, I did wonder if any of the rest of you might have been familiar with the concept, particularly you, Mr Snape, and Mr Lupin." Both students shook their heads.

"No? Oh, that is a pity. I had thought, as half-bloods, you may have been exposed to more Muggle entertainment than your Pureblood classmates. Never mind, though, we can all learn together." With a wave of the professor's wand, books shot across the room and landed in front of each student.

"Fairy tales?" Severus asked, disdain dripping from his voice. "We're not children, Professor."

"Pantos are always based on fairy tales, Severus," Lily explained. "My favourite was always Sleeping Beauty. I loved the fairies and the magic and the princess."

"Actually, Miss Evans, I think Sleeping Beauty would be an ideal choice for our own performance," Johnson announced. "What better way is there to show that you understand Muggles than to put your knowledge of our world aside and display your understanding of the Muggle version of magic."

* * *

"You know, Padfoot, I'm really starting to regret taking this class with you." James flicked through the book of fairy tales boredly.

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun!" Sirius replied. "By the sounds of it, with all the unbelievable things happening, no one will even notice if we pull a few pranks during it."

"Oh no, Sirius," Remus said, closing his own book of fairy tales. "You need to take this seriously. We're going to be graded on how well we understand this particular form of Muggle entertainment, and I, for one, intend to do well.

"It's only Muggle studies," Peter piped up. "It's not like any of us really need to do well in it. And everyone knows that it's the lesson that you take if you just want to doss around, especially if you're muggleborn or half-blood."

"None of us will be dossing around or playing pranks during the exam," Remus said. "We are going to do well so that we can get decent jobs after school, and also so Sirius can wave his Outstanding in Muggle Studies in his parents' faces.

Sirius pouted.

"Of course," Remus grinned. "There's no harm in a few little pranks in the rehearsals."

* * *

"Well then, students, our first job is to decide who will be playing which character. To prevent arguments between yourselves, I have already assigned a role to each of you, which I have noted on the front of your scripts, if you would like to collect them" A few grumbles occurred, but one by one the students accepted their fate and approached the professor to collect their scripts and discover their characters.

His own script abandoned on his desk, James was far more interested in Lily's.

"Well, of course you're the princess," James said, nodding at the name Aurora scrawled across the title page of Lily's script. "What with you being the only girl here, but even if you weren't you're the only one pretty enough for the part anyway."

Lily, choosing to ignore James' clumsy advances, turned to Severus and noticed that he was rather more pale than usual. "What's wrong, Sev?" she asked. Severus, however, did not seem to hear her.

Annoyed, James snatched Snape's script out from under his nose. "Seriously, what's got your knickers in a twist, Snivellus? Did you want to be a pretty princess too? I bet-" Whatever insult James was trying to form was forgotten as he was overtaken by a bought of uncontrollable laughter.

"Oi, Prongs, what's so funny?" Sirius yelled across the room, but James was too hysterical to reply properly. Sirius could just barely make out the words 'Snape' and 'fairy'.

Lily tutted and pulled her friend's script from James' grasp. Glancing down at it she struggled to suppress her own giggles.

"Well, Severus, men playing female parts is a traditional part of a pantomime," she said, handing back the script.

A giggle could be heard from Peter.

" _Playing_ women's parts," Lily sighed, "Not playing _with,_ you horn-dog."

"No, Lily, It's Sirius that's the horn-dog," Peter replied, sniggering.

"Hey, no need to _rat_ me out, Pete," Sirius replied.

The Marauders burst out in laughter again, but then went deathly silent.

"Hang on, did you say _men playing female parts?"_ Sirius said incredulously.

"Yes, Mr Black, she did," Professor Johnson said. "And if Mr Potter was paying as much attention to his own script as he was to other people's he might have noticed that Mr Snape is far from the only one."

James stopped laughing and dove across the room, only to have his script snatched away from him by Sirius, who took one look and began to chortle.

"And I thought Snape as a big scary fairy was funny…"

James grabbed the bundle of Muggle paper and blanched at the word written there.

" _Queen?"_ James screeched. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"Come on, James, it won't be so bad." Remus patted him on the shoulder consoling while a mischievous grin spread across his scarred face. "It'll be just like wearing dress robes, but without the 'robes' part."

Avoiding the unidentified and probably harmless spell James shot his way, Remus held up his hands in a placating gesture. "Really though, I've got to do it too. I'm the good fairy.

"I was really hoping to be the prince," James muttered, sliding down into his seat. "Then I'd get to give Lily _true love's first kiss…_ Hang on. If I'm not the prince, then who exactly is going to be kissing Lily?"

"Er, that would be me," Sirius said, before jumping up and running to the other side of the classroom, dodging the hexes coming from James' wand. "Protect me, fair Princess!" he yelled as he dived behind Lily for protection.

"Sit down, Mr Potter, and put your wand away. You too, Mr Black." Johnson had clearly had enough of their antics. "Now, I am going to dismiss you early, but I expect you all to have read your scripts thoroughly by our next lesson."

The students made a beeline for the door, Sirius rather quicker than the others.

"Remus, who exactly is Muddles?" Peter asked quietly. "He wasn't in the book."


End file.
